Oh beautiful boy, all the joy you have brought to your mama. It’s your birthday on Saturday.
I vividly remember sitting in the church balcony on Christmas eve two years ago, swaddling you in my arms, trying to keep the emotional dam that was about to burst at bay. Just 10 days old, my very own infant son on Christmas. They played “Joy to the World,” and tears of love, joy, pride and exhaustion ran warm down my cheeks. Joy to the world, the Lord is come; Let earth receive her King; Let every heart prepare Him room.
It was one of those special moments you know you will remember forever, the fragile right now of it all. The joy you let yourself really feel without question or worry. Because you know all the waiting, the preparing him room, the fear of another less than smooth birth did not come to pass. Those things had come to an end and they were replaced with relief and simple contentedness. So vivid and rare are these moments. So sacred only your mind and heart can bestow them justice, as words fail you, unable to rise to the occasion.
What a gift you were, a week late like your brother, warm and cozy in the confines of my belly, wanting to stay just a little bit longer. You were healthy and substantial in my arms, round cheeked with lots of dark hair. And our beloved friends and family came to celebrate you, bearing gifts of love and excitement. Loving you because you were part of our family now, part of our story. And because that is what the special people in your life do, they love your children, because first they have loved you.
And you now, at two, is so fun. You love tractors and your brother. You are somewhat lost without him, wandering around, but know your other half will return soon. You still give hugs and kisses freely and each night say, I lub you (love you) to Jack, mama and daddy. Daddy is your hero, and mama your mainstay. You are independent, fervently persistent and wildly curious about how everything works. You taught me how to be a mama to two babies. How as my friend Amy so wisely shared, to not divide the finite measure of my heart in two, but to grow the perimeter of my heart to hold and give more love.
I love every little space between your teeny tiny teeth. And when you give me that beautiful Jamison giggle I just boil over with love for you and our little family. I hope you maintain your fearlessness, your curiosity and your heart. I hope your daddy is always your hero and your brother your biggest fan. You are loved, loved, loved, my boy.
Happy Birthday, my Jamison Cole.
And heaven and nature sing, And heaven and nature sing, And heaven and heaven and nature sing.
The tree is up, the decorations are hung and packages are waiting patiently to be wrapped. Let’s savor these last two weeks of preparing Him room. A very, merry to you all!